Sunday, October 28, 2012

"Non-existent" Time

I am, honest-to-God, no longer reluctant with this blogging stuff, but where does the time go? I took a late night walk in the park overlooking Lake Superior. It was quite brisk, but really refreshing. The full moon was peaking from behind some horrendous black clouds while the waves crashed into the rocky shore. There was an ore-boat out on the lake, and its lights and size, along with the sights and sounds described above gave me a wonderful sense of relief and power as I meditated, and reflected on my day.

It was as I walked back to my pick-up that I remembered I hadn't posted all week (at least I didn't think I had) and I began contemplating a topic. Even though I planned on coming back to the apartment to work on a project with a fast-approaching deadline, I began looking forward to doing my blog.

In answer to the question in my first line, time does not exist, remember? I believe I talked about that in one of my earlier posts. But it's easy to let the illusion of time back into my life, especially since we use it to to hold ourselves accountable to our commitments.

I remain peaceful as long as I come back to the truth, of timeless being.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Take It Easy

I was going to write on something entirely different, but I happened to read another blog post just before I started on mine. I am not as reluctant to blog as I once was, and I enjoy the whole blogging-thing more now that I have been able to let go of all the advice and pressure to "do it right," after learning of some of my limitations, and then not demanding so much of myself.

I think I will keep this brief as I have a few works in progress that require my attention. I think I have always expected that this blog would be mostly for the literary community - agents, writers and aspiring writers. Maybe that's why I took it so seriously, and maybe that was the cause of some of my reluctance, but a slight transformation has occurred within me, cajoling me into "lightening up" a bit.

I don't know why I didn't become aware of it sooner, for I have come to see with everything in my life, I enjoy things more when I just Take-It-Easy.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Sharing vs Teaching

It seems to me there is an awful amount of blogs out there that are designed to inform, instruct, teach, or otherwise advise some lesser entity about their shortcomings as a writer, thereby offering him or her the opportunity to reach the same status in which they consider themselves to be.

I feel very blessed to have learned that I certainly cannot go through life with the arrogant attitude that I can do without any further instruction, knowledge, or advice, and I am equally blessed and certain that to remain in a state of constant teachability or unreadiness would be a sham used to cover up my indulgence in sloth.

Life has taught me that some of my greatest periods of learning come when I pay attention to what's going on with those who have a lesser degree of experience, knowledge, or training, but who are "doing the deal" (whatever it may be) with enthusiasm, positivity and zeal because they haven't experienced the backlash from a reaction to doing the things I have that resulted in unwanted consequences or results.

To paraphrase, they are like young children able to play freely in an field of clover simply because they enjoy it, and they have already witnessed the reactions of others who have played in the adjoining field, the one with poison ivy. My instructions of "where to" and "where not to" are not only unnecessary, but add a negative aspect that stifles the joy they otherwise get to experience.

I like to think of my blog as sharing, with a strong attitude of equality, and I would further like to think that this attitude will remain strong should I attain some measure of status in terms of financial success.

Another thing to come to mind is that a parable is a great tool for teaching and learning; its basic concept is based on sharing.

Wouldn't you rather read a parable than a set of instructions?

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Multiple Reluctance Disorder

Initially my reluctance surrounding blogging had simple origins. When I first tried blogging my priorities were to finish the novel I was working on and then compose a good query letter with which to ensnare an agent. I had already created a website during the "simmering" period between drafts of "Special," but I continued to edit and add to it, so the website became a new priority. I had also begun taking writing contests more seriously, so this too, took a chunk of my time which was quickly becoming quite valuable. The deeper I got into what it would require from me, to obtain support and recognition as a writer, the less time I had. The gist of this is that at first, lack of time was the main reason for my not blogging, or at least it seemed so.

As a then virgin to blogging, I would sit at the keyboard with either too many ideas on what to blog about or none at all. Then I would type, edit, add, discard and start again. This took time I didn't feel I had.

My time beacame even more precious as my living conditions worsened, and I began taking on sporadic jobs which took up more time and payed less, resulting in the need for more work, leading again, to less time for any writing, let alone blogging.

Now that things have improved, I can see that my reluctance is more often than not stemming from one of two underlying causes:

1. I want my blog to be a good example of my thinking as well as my writing.

2. I also want it to be interesting - to anyone - and to say a lot about me, my personality, beliefs and convictions.

Even though I separate these two, they perhaps are one and the same. I also see procrastination and perfectionism in the two, but again, I know that any procrastination on my part is almost always a result of wanting something to be perfect.

I could go on and on, analyzing more of the detailed intracacies of my various faults and issues, looking at the difference in why I am reluctant to blog, now, as to when I first started, but it's really a farce.

It's still a matter of time, isn't it?

At the risk of jumping the gun, I am going to let my engine jump track briefly, so I can state my truest conviction - one that permeates every aspect of my being these days - that time doesn't exist; that Now is all we have, that it is all there ever has been and ever will be. Over and over again in my writing I keep tackling the same subject - time.

Reluctance cannot exist without time, can it?


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Fishing Instead of Blogging

At some point I will probably be satisfied by the number of pageviews associated with these blogposts. For now I like the occasional passerby. Maybe there will come a time when people will browse through the "back issues" of my early blog days; maybe not. I imagine I will.

As I've previously stated, some things have finally turned around so that I can stay committed easier, and I may be beating a dead horse here, but as I am trying to make three deadlines for short story contests, at the end of October and mid-November, I wonder as to the importance of mining for words and ideas to make good reading on this page, instead of one in any of my stories.

I use to think my degree of commitment was what kept me persevering over my reluctance to blog, but I now know it's an effort motivated by a combination of things, not the least of which is the certainty that any writing I do will benefit me when I am on that page in one of my stories.

This seems too promotional to me, whereas writing fiction - good fiction - is more like fishing, grabbing someone's interest and running with it. It's fun for both of us, don't you think?