Take It Easy

I was going to write on something entirely different, but I happened to read another blog post just before I started on mine. I am not as reluctant to blog as I once was, and I enjoy the whole blogging-thing more now that I have been able to let go of all the advice and pressure to "do it right," after learning of some of my limitations, and then not demanding so much of myself.

I think I will keep this brief as I have a few works in progress that require my attention. I think I have always expected that this blog would be mostly for the literary community - agents, writers and aspiring writers. Maybe that's why I took it so seriously, and maybe that was the cause of some of my reluctance, but a slight transformation has occurred within me, cajoling me into "lightening up" a bit.

I don't know why I didn't become aware of it sooner, for I have come to see with everything in my life, I enjoy things more when I just Take-It-Easy.

Sharing vs Teaching

It seems to me there is an awful amount of blogs out there that are designed to inform, instruct, teach, or otherwise advise some lesser entity about their shortcomings as a writer, thereby offering him or her the opportunity to reach the same status in which they consider themselves to be.

I feel very blessed to have learned that I certainly cannot go through life with the arrogant attitude that I can do without any further instruction, knowledge, or advice, and I am equally blessed and certain that to remain in a state of constant teachability or unreadiness would be a sham used to cover up my indulgence in sloth.

Life has taught me that some of my greatest periods of learning come when I pay attention to what's going on with those who have a lesser degree of experience, knowledge, or training, but who are "doing the deal" (whatever it may be) with enthusiasm, positivity and zeal because they haven't experienced the backlash from a reaction to doing the things I have that resulted in unwanted consequences or results.

To paraphrase, they are like young children able to play freely in an field of clover simply because they enjoy it, and they have already witnessed the reactions of others who have played in the adjoining field, the one with poison ivy. My instructions of "where to" and "where not to" are not only unnecessary, but add a negative aspect that stifles the joy they otherwise get to experience.

I like to think of my blog as sharing, with a strong attitude of equality, and I would further like to think that this attitude will remain strong should I attain some measure of status in terms of financial success.

Another thing to come to mind is that a parable is a great tool for teaching and learning; its basic concept is based on sharing.

Wouldn't you rather read a parable than a set of instructions?

Multiple Reluctance Disorder

Initially my reluctance surrounding blogging had simple origins. When I first tried blogging my priorities were to finish the novel I was working on and then compose a good query letter with which to ensnare an agent. I had already created a website during the "simmering" period between drafts of "Special," but I continued to edit and add to it, so the website became a new priority. I had also begun taking writing contests more seriously, so this too, took a chunk of my time which was quickly becoming quite valuable. The deeper I got into what it would require from me, to obtain support and recognition as a writer, the less time I had. The gist of this is that at first, lack of time was the main reason for my not blogging, or at least it seemed so.

As a then virgin to blogging, I would sit at the keyboard with either too many ideas on what to blog about or none at all. Then I would type, edit, add, discard and start again. This took time I didn't feel I had.

My time beacame even more precious as my living conditions worsened, and I began taking on sporadic jobs which took up more time and payed less, resulting in the need for more work, leading again, to less time for any writing, let alone blogging.

Now that things have improved, I can see that my reluctance is more often than not stemming from one of two underlying causes:

1. I want my blog to be a good example of my thinking as well as my writing.

2. I also want it to be interesting - to anyone - and to say a lot about me, my personality, beliefs and convictions.

Even though I separate these two, they perhaps are one and the same. I also see procrastination and perfectionism in the two, but again, I know that any procrastination on my part is almost always a result of wanting something to be perfect.

I could go on and on, analyzing more of the detailed intracacies of my various faults and issues, looking at the difference in why I am reluctant to blog, now, as to when I first started, but it's really a farce.

It's still a matter of time, isn't it?

At the risk of jumping the gun, I am going to let my engine jump track briefly, so I can state my truest conviction - one that permeates every aspect of my being these days - that time doesn't exist; that Now is all we have, that it is all there ever has been and ever will be. Over and over again in my writing I keep tackling the same subject - time.

Reluctance cannot exist without time, can it?

   

Fishing Instead of Blogging

At some point I will probably be satisfied by the number of pageviews associated with these blogposts. For now I like the occasional passerby. Maybe there will come a time when people will browse through the "back issues" of my early blog days; maybe not. I imagine I will.

As I've previously stated, some things have finally turned around so that I can stay committed easier, and I may be beating a dead horse here, but as I am trying to make three deadlines for short story contests, at the end of October and mid-November, I wonder as to the importance of mining for words and ideas to make good reading on this page, instead of one in any of my stories.

I use to think my degree of commitment was what kept me persevering over my reluctance to blog, but I now know it's an effort motivated by a combination of things, not the least of which is the certainty that any writing I do will benefit me when I am on that page in one of my stories.

This seems too promotional to me, whereas writing fiction - good fiction - is more like fishing, grabbing someone's interest and running with it. It's fun for both of us, don't you think?

 

Actions Speak Louder than Words

My dad was fond of the adage, "Actions speak louder than words." This became ingrained in me as I seem to have always been an observer, noting people's reactions to my actions, and also to the actions of others. Consequences to those actions, good and bad, played a big part in the concretion of my observations relating to the saying, thereby influencing my growing experience.

Having made the previous statements, I won't waste any more words regarding their appearance on this blog, twice in the same week after some sporadic blank spots.

One problem I see with this foundational tool of my life is that, as a writer I deal in words, so if my words aren't speaking as loud as my actions I may have a serious dilemma.

Another of my life tenets that I firmly believe in is that "attitude is everything," so perhaps if I maintain the mindset that my words are my actions, while keeping in mind, still another adage of "quality above quantity," my dilemma is transformed into a paradox, thereby ceasing to be a problem and becoming a mystery.

I like mysteries, don't you?

Back on the Beam

Well, it has been a while - a couple of weeks. Commitment is extremely important with writng, and writing is extremely important to me; so for me not to keep up with it should say a lot to anyone reading.

All I can do now is move on. If I haven't mentioned it anywhere previously, I am also committed to taking steps to continually move on. I have had a few positive changes take place in my physical, material world, so as soon as I can ease into a comfortable routine I think I will be able to move on with some steadiness and regularity, taking a few giant steps instead of baby steps all the time.

I have two short story deadlines that I am committing myself to making, and plenty of others which I may or may not make. The two I am adamant about are for the end of September and the middle of October. I may be back at the blogging, but I won't diddle here for long.

It does feel good to be back "on the beam." Those of you who know what true commitment is can understand what it's like to get back to a commitment, if only for the first time and still know that you are in that place where you can and will continue. For me it is sort of a pleasant "high" that comes from the familiarity of having been in that place before, a place that I refer to as "on the beam."

I hope to attract some followers along the way. The time has arrived. Will you join me?

My last two blogs have really stretched my commitment time-frame. I am very pleased that several changes have come about in my living situation that should really benefit my creativity, my ability to keep commitments to myself, my blogging and my writing in general.

Looking to the future, I wonder that when my reluctance to blog diminshes and I find myself banging at the keys to post new blogs with enthusiasm and regularity, will I then need to change the name?

You may think it too soon for such thoughts, but I find when I entertain possible desirable scenarios like that in my mind enough, they become like meditation and visionary practices for me, and I eventually get to live them.