Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Upset with technology (as usual)

 I did some editing on my website: renamed some of my pages and linked a short story excerpt to the magazine which published the complete fantasy. Things were going so well, I tried to do more. I did; I lost the excerpts from "Special." Totally my mistake, so I figure it's a spiritual message to put something else in there, anyway. But then I also find out some of the navigation buttons linking to the description of "Special" aren't working - mistake not mine. I left it, for now. I'm getting overly upset over these things because I'm broke. I've been running on empty for a long time, now.

That's only remotely true. I have a deep cache of wealth and riches, it just don't feed my pick-up's gas tank, or my belly. But, if I just sit here and write a little, they will sustain me - and maybe that will help someone else. If I sit here and write a lot, I'll end up with new and imaginative stories that will eventually impress an agent or publisher. I need to take time and go over "Special" anyway since I want it in perfect condition for The Pitch Conference in NYC next month.

I just realized what I dislike about blogging. I don't dislike the act; I dislike a lot of what I am reading in other blogs. I said something about blogging not coming natural to me. That's not true, either. If I blog about things I feel are important, it does come. What I like writing about is "now."

I am pretty distraught, right now. Aside from my writing, I have some personal commitments, which are causing me some stress due to my living and financial situation. By themselves, these factors are causing me to be quite irritable. What I find most disconcerting about the feeling is that their importance wanes compared to my need to write and edit more than I am currently doing - and READ. I've been on the same book for over a month (77 Shadow Street); of course, I know I read other things, but still, I know what is a good pace for me; I just haven't had the right kind of reading time.

Some reflection that has been taking place regarding this book and how long it is taking me to read it. I want to comment on my previous statement and I wonder if anyone else can relate to this fact; I have been aware of a question in my mind as to whether I am finding 77 Shadow Street less appealing as I normally find Koontz's books, because of my erratic current, lifestyle conditions, or is the reading going slow simply because I don't find the book that appealing. For a long time Koontz's books have been slam - bam reads for me, riveting right from the start. This story didn't strike me that way. The phenomenal thing which I am aware of, though, is that I knew my reading pace had slowed down, and when I grabbed his new book, instead of snapping out of my funk or rut, I ignored it. One of the things I love about Dean Koontz is, once I start a story of his, I can't ignore it. Normally, as I am sitting here typing about this, or if I were telling someone about it, I would be
wondering what was going to happen on the next page. I'm not. I do like the way the story is formatted. Maybe I don't, because the p.o.v. in my story Special changes with the characters, just like with Koontz's characters in 77 Shadow Street. I don't use the italicised scene subtitles to point it out like he does.


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Lost as usual

Well, this was certainly not how I intended my first blog to read, but then my other attempts, which I had thought would be published, and which I thought were great stuff, never made it to the published internet, for one reason or another. I will save and publish this one only because I am stubborn and committed to getting it started, because as anyone who knows me has heard me say, "you can't get from here to there without taking the first step."

For the most part, I find rants very unproductive at their least, and very damaging at their worst. My present mood is "rough" and I know what can result from that when I speak or write.

With that said, I will keep this brief, and repeat that my motive and intention with publishing this initial segment is simply to be one step away from where I was ten minutes ago.