I did some editing on my website: renamed some of my pages and linked a short story excerpt to the magazine which published the complete fantasy. Things were going so well, I tried to do more. I did; I lost the excerpts from "Special." Totally my mistake, so I figure it's a spiritual message to put something else in there, anyway. But then I also find out some of the navigation buttons linking to the description of "Special" aren't working - mistake not mine. I left it, for now. I'm getting overly upset over these things because I'm broke. I've been running on empty for a long time, now.
That's only remotely true. I have a deep cache of wealth and riches, it just don't feed my pick-up's gas tank, or my belly. But, if I just sit here and write a little, they will sustain me - and maybe that will help someone else. If I sit here and write a lot, I'll end up with new and imaginative stories that will eventually impress an agent or publisher. I need to take time and go over "Special" anyway since I want it in perfect condition for The Pitch Conference in NYC next month.
I just realized what I dislike about blogging. I don't dislike the act; I dislike a lot of what I am reading in other blogs. I said something about blogging not coming natural to me. That's not true, either. If I blog about things I feel are important, it does come. What I like writing about is "now."
I am pretty distraught, right now. Aside from my writing, I have some personal commitments, which are causing me some stress due to my living and financial situation. By themselves, these factors are causing me to be quite irritable. What I find most disconcerting about the feeling is that their importance wanes compared to my need to write and edit more than I am currently doing - and READ. I've been on the same book for over a month (77 Shadow Street); of course, I know I read other things, but still, I know what is a good pace for me; I just haven't had the right kind of reading time.
Some reflection that has been taking place regarding this book and how long it is taking me to read it. I want to comment on my previous statement and I wonder if anyone else can relate to this fact; I have been aware of a question in my mind as to whether I am finding 77 Shadow Street less appealing as I normally find Koontz's books, because of my erratic current, lifestyle conditions, or is the reading going slow simply because I don't find the book that appealing. For a long time Koontz's books have been slam - bam reads for me, riveting right from the start. This story didn't strike me that way. The phenomenal thing which I am aware of, though, is that I knew my reading pace had slowed down, and when I grabbed his new book, instead of snapping out of my funk or rut, I ignored it. One of the things I love about Dean Koontz is, once I start a story of his, I can't ignore it. Normally, as I am sitting here typing about this, or if I were telling someone about it, I would be
wondering what was going to happen on the next page. I'm not. I do like the way the story is formatted. Maybe I don't, because the p.o.v. in my story Special changes with the characters, just like with Koontz's characters in 77 Shadow Street. I don't use the italicised scene subtitles to point it out like he does.